Me: 1. The System: 0.

Here's a letter I got this morning:

'Dear Mr Super Dope Fly

SAFETY CAMERA OFFENCE

Following careful consideration of your explanation and further investigation regarding the above offence, it has been decided that no further action will be taken and you may now consider the matter closed.

Please accept our apologies for any inconvenience this may have caused.

Yours sincerely,

Unit Manager
Northumbria Police'

And my explanation? I said, 'please show me some evidence that I was speeding.'

Oh, well, erm, here's the thing; how about we just forget about the three points and don't take £60 off you?

Which is a real shame, because I'd be a far less dangerous driver without that money. Far less.